


Home

by AllTheLittleMoments



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: !Trigger warning!: selfharm, Comfort, Death of a loved one, Depression, Gen, Hurt, Love, Reader is 12 years old, is best friends with J2M, works on supernatural her whole life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-17
Updated: 2017-05-17
Packaged: 2018-11-01 23:54:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10932642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllTheLittleMoments/pseuds/AllTheLittleMoments
Summary: Requested by @Aidag90:The Reader is 12 years old and has been working as an actress on Supernatural for as long as she can remember. Of course she still goes to school but the rest of her day is usually spent on set. One day when she's on her way back to her trailer, she recieves an urgent call from her older brother...What do you do when a loved one dies?





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**Author's Note:**

  * For [Aidag90](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aidag90/gifts).



> Ok so this took me longer than I wanted but unfortunately school's been giving me a hell of a lot of stress these days...
> 
> This story is for @Aidag90! I really hope you like it, girl! And I'm sorry it took me so long even though I told you I'd have it finished a long time ago :/ xx

You heard a door open and grumbled, turning around on your bed.

 

"Y/C/N?" someone whispered into the room and you made a noise, signaling you had heard them. There were footsteps and you felt how the person sat down next to you, on the edge of your bed. "Hey, sweetheart. We're home." they said and you groggily opened your eyes, smiling tiredly.

 

"Hey Jen..." a smirk crossed over his lips.

 

"Cut!" came from another room and you frowned. Why did they... Only now you noticed what you had done.

 

"Crap..." you whispered and Jensen laughed beside you as the lights in the room were turned on.

 

"Do we have a new character on the show, or did I miss something?" he mocked, winking at you and you giggled.

 

"Shut up." he laughed again. You looked into one of the cameras. "Sorry, guys. I wasn't thinking." you apologized.

 

"Don't worry. We'll just do it again. Jensen, stop cracking up and leave the room!" said guy coughed, probably to stop the chuckle leaving his lips, and nodded, patting your knee before walking through the door. The lights dimmed down and you lay back down on your comfortable bed, snuggling into the pillow.

 

"Aaaand... Action!" here we go again.

 

•{<\------>}•

 

"Cut! Awesome job, guys! We're done for today!" the director said and you sighed, a yawn escaping your lips. Managing to go to school and work on a successful show like Supernatural was extremely tiring. Especially when you were only 12 years old... At least you were on holidays at the moment.

You felt arms snake around your body and Jensen spun you around.

 

"Good job!" he grinned at you. "You're a natural, Y/N!"

 

"Probably comes from being on the show for my whole life." you grinned at him, making him chuckle.

 

"Maybe." you yawned again and Jensen smiled at you. "Tired?"

 

"Yeah... exhausting day today. I think I'm gonna go to bed."

 

"I get that. Jared and I will be right next trailer." you rolled your eyes at the attempt of a joke. The first time he'd pulled this pun you'd actually laughed but it'd lost it's magic a long time ago.

 

"I hate you." he laughed again and placed a kiss on your head.

 

"I'll see you tomorrow." you nodded with a smile ad gave him another hug before making your way away from set towards the trailers. You passed by some people, sending them a good night. Right before you opened the door someone grabbed you by your waist and you screamed in surprise, turning around.

 

"Just me!" Jared grinned at you, his arms held up in surrender.

 

"You scared me!" you breathed out.

 

"Sorry, babe. You going to bed?"

 

"Yeah, I'm pretty tired." he smiled and nodded.

 

"Jen and I are right..."

 

"...next trailer. I know." you grinned and he laughed, shaking his head.

 

"Jensen pulled the joke again?"

 

"Yup... Still thinks it's funny." you giggled.

 

"When is he gonna learn... Anyways, I'll let you go. See you tomorrow, Y/N." Jared said and gave you a warm hug, making you even sleepier than before.

 

"Night." you answered and turned around, opening the door to your trailer. You sighed and yawned again, sitting down on your couch. You took your phone from the table that you had left here and saw that your brother had tried to call you. Twice. You frowned and clicked on the call button, wondering what was so important. He was older than you and you hadn't seen him in a long time so missed him a lot but the two of you called each other as often as possible.

 

"Y/N?" you heard his voice on the other line of the phone. He sounded tired and a little worn out.

 

"Hey, Y/B/N! What's wrong?"

 

"I have bad news..."

 

•{<\------>}•

 

Half an hour later, you opened the door to Jared's trailer, eyes burning from crying. The tears just wouldn't stop.

 

"Y/N!" you heard the smile in Misha's voice. "Jensen just told us about today! So you forgot you were shooting, hm?" you looked at him to see the smirk but it didn't last long. A few moments after they'd seen you the three men were standing around you, worry and concern in their eyes.

 

"What happened?"

 

"My... My..." you stammered out but your lips started to tremble again. "My grandma died..." you sobbed and fell into Jensen, who had his arms outstretched for you. You cried into his chest while he held you close, looking at his friends with sadness in his eyes. You'd loved your grandma so much. She'd been there whenever you needed her, was always there to cheer you up and make you laugh and feel loved. She'd always been a huge part of your life. Your grandpa and her didn't live far away from set so they often visited you and you lived there whenever you didn't have to be at work for more than a week so you could concentrate on school. You could say that she'd been something like a second mom for you. And it hurt you badly that she was just... gone.

Jared, Jensen and Misha had gotten to know her, too and she'd found her way into their hearts. So it really didn't surprise anyone when their eyes started to tear up, too. Partly because they hated to see you cry.

 

"When did it happen?" Jared asked you quietly after a while, placing his hand on your shoulder.

 

"Yesterday..." you sniffled, raising your head from Jensen's chest. Misha was next to take you in his arms.

 

"I'm sorry..." he whispered. You just closed your eyes, feeling more tears rush down your cheeks. The four of you sat down on the couch. You were sitting between Jensen and Jared, who had his arm wrapped around you tightly, making sure you were ok. What surprised you a little was that they made you tell stories about your grandma. It was hard, talking about her and having to remind yourself that she wasn't here anymore... But after a while you found yourself smiling over the memory of her, the stories you told them making you feel like she was always going to be there somehow. In those stories.

 

•{<\------>}•

 

You'd expected to be fine the next day. Misha, Jensen and Jared had talked with you for a long time the night before and it had made you feel better. Jared had even let you sleep in his bed for the night while he took the couch. Jensen slept in the armchair while Misha took the floor, neither of them wanting to leave you alone and you were extremely thankful for that.

But your mom called you as soon as you'd woken up. She sounded as if she hadn't slept for days, voice raspy from crying. She asked you if you wanted to come home, that she wouldn't have a problem with driving all the way to Vancouver to get you because she wanted you to be with your family during a time like this. Even though you missed your family like crazy, you didn't know if you could handle being with them while everyone was so devastated. So you kept on telling her that you would be ok, that you would be fine. You needed to distract yourself. That was the best way of getting over something. In the end, your mom convinced you to at least go to the funeral with them in a few days.

 

Either way, all the good thoughts from yesterday were blown away. It was like this dark cloud was flying only over your own head because everyone else on set was so happy today... it made you even sadder.

You tried to focus on work. Even though Jensen, Misha and Jared noticed that you weren't feeling good, they left you alone when you said you'd be fine.

The days flew by and sooner than later you were back with your family. Your three co-stars had asked if they could join you, to say their own ‘final goodbyes’. And to give you some comfort through the whole thing. They knew you needed them.

After the funeral, you dosed yourself with work. You wouldn’t leave set until the doors were being closed and the very last person had left. You spent every second memorizing the script. You ignored your families’ calls. You ignored the people on set asking if you’re ok. You ignored Jared, Jensen and Misha. You ignored yourself and your feelings. You knew it wasn’t good. But you couldn’t help it.

 

 

 

It wasn’t until one day on set. You knew what was going to happen that day. You knew what you were going to shoot because you’d read the script over and over. And you thought you would have it under control.

Jensen was laying on the ground, his face bloodied and scarred and his body lying there like he was dead, lifeless. You knew he was acting. That this wasn’t real. That this was Dean and not Jensen. That he would open his eyes as soon as the director called ‘cut’. But it looked like the fear suddenly had a mind of its own.

 

“No!” you screamed. This wasn’t the script. “No! Jensen!” you ran towards him, falling down next to him and cradling his face in your hands. He snapped his eyes open, only to look at you in concern. “No… no… don’t do this. Don’t do this to me again! Don’t you dare do this to me again!” Jensen sat up immediately and wrapped his arms around you. He held you close, letting your tears fall onto his flannel shirt that was ripped in some places. Your lips were trembling, body shaking violently and sobs were leaving your mouth but Jensen never let go of you.

 

“I’m here. Sweetheart, I’m here. I’m not leaving you. No way.” You shook your head and pried your arms away from him. You ran. Ran away from set and into the safety of your trailer. You stumbled in, closed the door and ran for your bathroom. Tears were still streaming from your eyes while you fumbled to open the cabinet under the sink.

There was something you'd tried to hide from everyone over the last few days. You didn't want them to think you were weak or that you couldn't deal with the death of a loved one. The cuts on your wrists reminded you every day of how weak you actually were. But you felt like you deserved them in some way. And once you'd started, you hadn't been able to stop yourself from continuing. It was like this was the only way for you to feel something again. And pain was the strongest form of emotion.

Another sob shook through your body and you took the razor in your hand, tears continuing to make your vision blurry. But you weren't only sad and frightened anymore. You'd just ruined a scene. Everything was going well. Jensen had to deal with all the fake blood on his face and clothes and had to hold his breath to act like he was dead and you had to ruin it. You cried and placed the razor to your wrist when...

 

"Y/N/N?" Jensen voice was quiet, wary, surprised. And was that fear? "What... What are you doing?" you held your breath and stared at the razor on your wrist. Your heart was racing like crazy. He wasn't supposed to see. Why the hell didn't you lock the door? How could you be so stupid??

Suddenly, he was kneeling in front of you, your hands in his own. Maybe you still hadn't stopped crying but you saw tears in his eyes as well. He let his thumb glide over one of the scars. They all still looked fresh and you looked down. In all honesty, now that he'd seen them, you couldn't help but feel ashamed of yourself. He wouldn't treat you the way he normally did. They would probably need you to leave set or something.

 

"Babe?" you looked at him. God, you've never seen him so... you couldn't even find a word for his expression. "You didn't hear what I just said, did you?" you frowned and shook your head with wide eyes. Great, you had been so deep in thoughts that you couldn't even listen to your best friend anymore. "Hey, it's ok. Don't feel bad about it. Come here." his voice was a whisper and he tugged a little on your hands, signaling you to come closer to him. You slowly did and the second you were close enough, he sat you down on his lap and wrapped his arms around you. The two of you stayed like that for a while and you tried to slow your breathing. "You do know that we love you, right?" Jensen asked you and you felt your lip tremble again. You nodded. "Can you talk for me?"

 

"I..." a shuddering breath left your lips. "I know..." you felt him leave a kiss on your cheek.

 

"And you know that we're here for you, right?" he was so quiet and you knew that he was crying, too. But he was trying to sound strong for you. You nodded again, avoiding his gaze.

 

"Yes..."

 

"Then look at me, love." you raised your head and felt your eyes water again the moment they met his. "You don't have to be ashamed of this. You don't have to be mad at yourself for this. It's completely normal to be sad and frustrated when a loved one dies. Especially when you don't have a lot of time for them because you have to work and go to school at the same time. And I'm proud of you. I've always been so proud of you. Not many kids in your age can pull this off and deal with all of this. But these..." he stopped and held your arms up so you could see your scars. "...these won't help you. They will make you feel better for 10 minutes, maybe, and after that they will just remind you of terrible times. You don't have to do this. Y/N, you've got people around you, like me and Jared and Misha, people who are here for you. You don't have to be afraid of showing us how you feel because we will always be here for you. Always remember that, ok love?" you didn't even care about stopping your tears anymore. You nodded and hid your face in his chest, feeling him place his hand on top of your head. And you felt another hand on your shoulder. But it wasn't Jensen's. You looked up and saw Jared kneeling in front of you, his eyes filled with tears. Crap. From all people, you had hoped that Jared would never see you like this.

 

"Babe, come here." he whispered and you felt Jensen releasing you from his own hug so you could fall into Jared's arms. "I'm sorry..." he whispered after a while. "I'm so sorry..." you frowned and turned your head to look at him.

 

"For what?"

 

"For not noticing... I know what this feels like. And I know that you need people around you to comfort you. I should have noticed or..."

 

"Shut up." you said and he stopped talking. "Jared, this isn't your fault. You guys tried to help but I didn't let you... If anyone should apologize then that's me." Jared pressed a kiss to your forehead before wrapping you in his arms again. "I'm sorry... I love you guys."

 

"We love you more." and for the first time in a long time, you felt a small smile grace your lips.

 

•{<\------>}•

 

Going back to set and continuing a normal shooting day was no option after that. Work got canceled for the day, Jensen had Misha on the phone to inform him what was happening while Jared sat with you in his arms on the couch and let you pour your heart out about everything that made you sad these days. When Misha arrived half an hour later, he'd sped all the way to set, he looked at you as if you were the most precious thing in the world. The three of them talked with you, letting you cry and show them just how weak you felt. And they got the ice cream out of the freezer, all four of you sharing. But you noticed that they spared more of it for you. Soon enough you fell asleep. But your best friends didn't go to bed yet. They spent about an hour putting your clothes back into your suitcase and putting things that they knew you took from your trailer whenever you left set for a longer period of time into a bag. Then they put their own stuff together, loaded the cars and Clif drove all of you away from set, with you still sleeping on the backseat.

 

 

 

When you woke up again you found yourself in Clif's car. And his car was standing in front of the entrance of the Vancouver airport.

 

"Good morning, sunshine." you heard Jared say from beside you and you looked at him. He was smiling at you and so was Jensen, sitting in the passenger seat.

 

"What are we doing?" you groggily asked, shoulder numb from sleeping on it the whole ride.

 

"We're going home." Jensen said.

 

"But... work..." you started.

 

"We're off for two weeks. We said we could all use some time away from set so the three of us are going back to Austin for a while." you frowned a little.

 

"And the show? We still have a few episodes to shoot and..."

 

"You seriously think the fans will be mad at us for this? It's just for two weeks." Jared grinned and ruffled your hair. "Gen and Danni already know we're on our way and the kids are gonna be so happy to see their Auntie again." despite the empty feeling you'd had over the last weeks, your heart started to beat a little faster and you felt a comforting warmth spread through your body at the thought of seeing the family again.

 

"But still, this is your decision. We don't want to force you to come with us. We just thought it would be good for you to get some rest and for us to be there for you." Jensen admitted and you looked at both of them, thankful to have them in your life.

 

"That actually sounds really nice. I haven't been off work and school in a long time... Thank you, guys." they smiled warm-heartedly at you and Jared placed a kiss to your temple. You got out of the car, took your bags and suitcases and walked into the airport. Clif was already getting you guys tickets and he smiled at you when you reached him, giving you a big hug.

 

"I hope you guys are gonna have a good time. Don't forget to give me call!" you giggled a little and shook your head.

 

"I promise I won't forget." he grinned and nodded, giving you your flight ticket.

 

"I'll pick you guys up from here in two weeks, alright?"

 

"Thanks, Clif." Jared said and gave the bodyguard a hug. He waved when you made your way towards your gate. There were a few paparazzi pathetically hiding in the crowds of people around you and even though you were used to them, Jared and Jensen still tried to shield you from their cameras. You got to your gate, waited some minutes, got onto the plane, took off and sooner than you thought you were on your way to finally getting some time off. You'd finally be able to take care of yourself.

 

•{<\------>}•

 

Hours later and you were standing in front of Jensen's house. You were all going to meet up here. You waited for Jensen to turn the key in the lock and the door opened.

 

"Guess who's home!!" he yelled and a few seconds later you heard three pairs of footsteps stumble towards you.

 

"Daddy!!" the three elder kids screamed and separately ran towards Jared and Jensen. Until they saw you. "Auntie Y/N!!" you couldn't help the laugh escaping your lips as they all attacked you into a hug.

 

"Hey, guys! How are you?"

 

"We miss you!" JJ said, holding your hand and dragging you inside with Tom holding your other hand while Shep was clinging onto your leg. It took you some minutes to get inside but when you finally did, you picked Shep up and JJ and Tom walked towards their dad's.

 

"How's my girl doing?" your eyes traveled away from the boy in your arms and you saw Danneel smiling at you.

 

"I'm better now." you sighed and she took you into a hug.

 

"I'm glad you're here. We'll make us a good time." you nodded and smiled back at her.

 

"And we'll take some girls-only-time, too. I think you need some space from those two jokers over there." Gen suddenly said from behind you and you turned around to hug her.

 

"Heeeey!" Jared made, playing offended. It made you laugh and you thought, yeah, maybe these two weeks could really help you...

 

 

 

When you were later all sitting by the pool outside, watching the sun disappear on the horizon, for once you finally felt some form of relaxation fill your bones. Jared was playing with his sons in the pool while Jensen was having JJ on his lap, listening to her telling a story from pre-school. The twins and baby Odette were already in bed, hopefully sleeping the night through.

 

"Alright, who needs a new drink?" Jensen asked after the story was finished.

 

"Could you get me some more water?" you asked him and he smiled.

 

"Be right back. JJ? Wanna help Daddy get a new glass of water for Auntie Y/N?" she nodded her head eagerly and grabbed his hand, dragging him towards the kitchen. You smiled a little and looked towards Jared, who noticed your eyes on him and waved with a grin.

 

"You know, Y/N..." Gen started, sitting beside you. "Jensen and Jared care a lot about you. You're like a daughter to them, we want you to know that." you felt tears prickle in your eyes and pressed your lips together, not knowing what to say to that.

 

"They love you a lot." Danni continued, draping her arm around you to pull you into a side-hug. "And so do we." you looked down and nodded your head, blinking the tears away. A few moments later and JJ was standing in front of you with your glass of water.

 

"Here you go!" she proudly held it towards you and you took it into your hand.

 

"Thank you, kiddo."

 

"Can we cuddle?" the little girl then asked, eyes shining and you laughed a little, opening your arms.

 

"The cuddle-monster is always willing to cuddle with you." JJ giggled as you wrapped your arms around her. You felt how Jensen placed a kiss on your hair.

 

Yeah, you were home.

**Author's Note:**

> The ending is a little rushed because I really didn't want you to have to wait any longer...
> 
> But I hope you liked it and that this somehow pictured what you had in mind :D
> 
> Leave your thoughts in the comments if you like! I always love to read feedback :)


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